Posted on November 13, 2005 - by deCadmus

Udderly Debunked

Learned scientific-type persons have now thoroughly debunked cow-tipping as nothing more than myth, or rural legend. (Not exactly urban now, is it?) Seeing as how it’s impossible and all, I can state categorically that neither I nor my brothers, nor any member of my extended family in or around the town of Madison, Missouri have ever tipped a cow… ’cause it simply can’t be done.

Glad that’s settled, ’cause I wouldn’t want Uncle Bob to hold a grudge about something that certainly never happened. It’s impossible you know. It would take at least four or five folks to do such a thing. Or one Duane.

(Note to physicists: I think you failed to account for the acceleration of the cow-tippers in your model. Don’t think lever, think offensive front line. Not that I’d know anything about that at all. Just speculatin’.)