Posted on January 18, 2008 - by deCadmus

The skinny on… skinny?

This one’s worth a read just for this quote:

My regular coffee order at Starbucks sounds ridiculous. “I’ll have a grande, no-fat, sugar-free Cinnamon Dolce Latte, no whip. Please.’’ Once, a customer behind me chirped, “Would you like coffee with that?”

Heh.

Now Starbucks is making it easier on patrons like myself who like to order a little coffee with their adjectives. Coffee drinks made with nonfat milk and sugar-free syrups are now called “skinny.’’ So I can order a “skinny” Cinnamon Dolce and get the same no-fat, sugar-free, no-whip drink without so much effort. There are also “skinny” mochas, “skinny” caramel lattes and “skinny” hazelnut lattes.

This is new? This is news? I’ve heard “skinny” used in coffee shops from Portland, Oregon to Portsmouth, New Hampshire and all points between. And certainly not only at Starbucks. But it would appear that “skinny” has now officially hit the Starbucks lexicon. And some folks aren’t happy about it.

At The Gothamist:

The non-official Starbucks Gossip Blog posted a letter Wednesday that one disgruntled New York employee fired off to the company’s top brass. The barista wrote not to protest Starbucks’s aggressive ubiquity, their resistance to fair trade coffee, or their union busting tactics. No sir, she’s up in arms about the new company policy instructing employees to refer to drinks made with sugar-free syrup, non-fat milk, and no whipped cream as “Skinny.”

Um… yeah. That’s pickin’ your battles.

As a person of estimable size (i.e. a really big guy) let me offer a brief note to reluctant baristas, everywhere: if you think what you call your drink is going to have an impact my self-image — any impact at all — you greatly overestimate your power. If you think that “skinny” is politically incorrect and you’re personally offended by the term, you really need to get a grip. And if this is where you intend to make your stand, well… you might shuffle the deck of cards that comprises your priorities.

And that’s the real skinny.