Posted on August 14, 2008 - by deCadmus

Inconstant as a November Sky

It’s fascinating the things folks search for… and confounding. There are search phrases in Bloggle’s referrer logs that are truly head-scratchers: cyphers, bits of blank verse, and the odd, indelicate phrase that could make Bob Saget blush.

Then there are phrases that are extraordinarily specific… those that, when I Google ‘em myself, offer a result set of one. Take for example, the phrase, “a stray cat is inconstant as a November sky.” Now that’s specific. It’s rather a nice turn of phrase, too…  I’d forgotten having written it. But here it is, in this review for a less-than-stellar coffee:

The trouble with a stray cat is, that cat’s never really gonna be your friend. A stray cat’s got no boss, no loyalties and no apologies — ever. Oh sure, you might think that cat’s your buddy… but you’re kidding yourself. If a better deal comes along it’s outta here and gone, and don’t you go making the mistake of getting in its way. No sir, a stray cat is inconstant as a November sky.

Hmm. How about, “muscular, musky and oozes?”  Surprise… it’s not cheesy porn, it’s another coffee review, albeit one with enough purple prose to read like cheesy porn.

In the cup this is a deep, dark mysterious liquor. It’s muscular, musky and oozes languidly on the tongue. Its deeper tones are bitter chocolate, its high notes ripe fruit… very ripe. It’s slightly wild, rich, fat and funky. Not the fuzzy stuff of a monsooned Malabar–it’s far too smooth for that–but still it’s earthy and intense. The Bugisu has got the body of a Java, and while its finish is long and syrupy, it is decidedly not sweet.

As to the rest… maybe it’s Cuil’s quantum pr0n. If not, I can’t for the life of me figure out what landed them here.